Fast Food Fuck Ups n Faux Pas

Posted on July 13, 2012


Will somebody please tell me why it is so damn hard to get exactly what you ordered when you go to a fast food restaurant? I mean, I just don’t get it. Well, I kinda get it, but then I still don’t. I went to McDonald’s today for lunch. It wasn’t busy at all, there was only one person in front of me. I did notice that there were 3 other people waiting on food they had already ordered, and of course, there was only one cashier taking orders. I waited in “line” for the kid (Roberto) to take the young lady’s order ahead of me, then placed my order once Roberto returned to the register after doing whatever he did after taking her order. My request wasn’t too complicated, at least I don’t think it was. I merely ordered a McDouble with no pickles, no mustard, plus mayo and shredded lettuce, a small order of fries, and 3 oatmeal raisin cookies. Not hella complex, right?

I waited about 5 minutes for my food, which was cool because it meant I was gonna have hot, fresh, fries. That’s hard to come across where I live. The girl behind the counter handed me my bag, I looked inside, everything appeared to be correct (all items were in place and my burger was tagged with a receipt per the way I ordered it). I left out, got in my car, plugged my phone into the radio n’ put on some tunes (AfroRican “Give It All You Got”), and proceeded to roll back to work. I grabbed a couple fries outta the bag, hot n’ fresh (a little salty though), popped ’em in my mouth, and savored the flavor. I grabbed my burger, unwrapped it halfway, and took a bite, then– DAMMIT!!!!! WTF??? THIS IS NOT WHAT I ORDERED.

The burger in my bag with the sticker attached receipt on it that says “no pickle, no mustard, add mayo, add shredded lettuce” was not at all what it claimed to be. Instead it was a McDouble with mayo and whole pieces of lettuce, with no pickles or mustard, but also with no ketchup or onions. HAVE YOU EVER EATEN A HAMBURGER WITH NOTHING ON IT BUT MAYONNAISE? Absolutely the most bland thing i have ever tasted in my life. I mean, this was worst than English food (no offense to the Brits, but y’all know y’all don’t season ANYTHING). After the first bite, I frowned, cursed, and threw the Mcblandburger back in the white paper sack from which it came.

My first thought was to call and talk to Ronald or whoever the hell manages the place, but then I remembered that I wasn’t going to be back in that area for at least another week (I went to a dr’s appointment at lunch). So upon returning to work, I went straight to the break room and rummaged through the discarded condiment drawer to find a pack of ketchup. I doctored up the remainder of my Mcdisaster and it finished out fine. I didn’t really like all the big hard ass leaves of lettuce, and it didn’t taste quite right without the onions, but it was $1, so I really can’t complain more than I already have.

If you work in the food industry, especially in fast food, I just wanna know how in the hell you and your coworkers manage to make the most simple mistakes. I know it’s a shit job and you barely make any money, but at the same time YOU CHOSE TO WORK THAT SHIT JOB. For whatever reason, you had the aspiration to flip burgers. So, flip ’em right. It doesn’t matter how shitty the job is, or the fact that you probably have no opportunity or chance for advancement whatsoever if you’re not suckin’ off the shift manager. You are putting your name brand on every single McWhateverthefuck you make. Be damn good at it. Always strive to be the best at whatever you do. Whether it’s filling complex burger orders at the Clown or the King, or making major decisions as the ceo of a Fortune 500 Company.

I used to fry chicken for the Colonel. You better believe every piece was tender, juicy, and golden perfection. Floured and seasoned per the recipe, and served up as hot as the girls up front could box it up. Of course, that was 15 years ago and my job is 100 times better now. The point is that I didn’t slack off, even when I had minimum wage, pos, no future type jobs. It paid off in the end, and it’s going to pay off even further.

So please, if you work in the food industry, PLEASE stop fuckin’ up peoples orders. It makes our already stressful lives seem even more hopeless when we can’t even enjoy something as simple as an Extra Value Meal. Pay attention to what’s on the slip, screen, or receipt. If you don’t, then we’ll eventually stop making purchases from your restaurant, they’ll lose money, and you’ll get laid off. Nobody wants to get laid off from McDonald’s. I’m not even sure if you would get unemployment. What the hell is 70% of damn near nothing???