BRA STRAPS??? WTF!

Posted on January 9, 2013

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Ladies, ladies, ladies……more specifically, my beautiful black sisters……WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG???

I was at Benihana about a week ago for dinner, starving to death, but patiently waiting to be seated. The scene was pretty normal, people coming and going, in and out, bathroom to the bar. At one point, this caramel vision of beauty walked out from the bar to meet  her taller and almost equally stunning friend at the door. Granted, she had a long hair weave and wore too much makeup, but underneath it all, her natural beauty still shined through. She was wearing an extremely sexy, almost too short/too tight dress that kept rising in the back because it could barely cover her deliciously round dimple speckled derriere. I was there with my lady, trying my best not to be obvious as I peered at the half moon hump through the corner of my eye. As my gaze drifted upward, I noticed the back was out on the dress, allowing me to see every inch of her creamy skin from her waist all the way up to her BIG BLACK BRA……FANTASY RUINED. Even my girl commented on how cute she was until she saw the thick satin black back strap that not only should never have been seen, but didn’t even match the dress that draped the body of this would be goddess. I put my head down in shame, and felt pity for her, feeling an undeniable embarrassment for my entire race at the same time. I thought to myself, “Why would she do that? How can she not know how to dress herself properly? Why in the hell is she wearing a bra with that dress???”.  I couldn’t make any sense of the situation, no matter how much I tried to reason with it.

Unfortunately, that wasn’t my first time seeing something like this. It will just be marked in my memory as the worst. For the past two or three years, I’ve noticed a growing trend among black women wearing off the shoulder blouses with their bra straps exposed. They even go so far as to get bras to match the tops so that the whole thing fits together as an outfit. I actually had a girl I was banging (not at all dating) tell me that she matches her bras to her off the shoulder blouses because it would look tacky if the bra straps didn’t match. I took a deep breath and asked her if she had ever heard of a strapless bra and informed her that it was the proper thing to wear when donning such attire.  I can’t even remember what idiotic phrase came from between her lips after that. It was probably something about Keisha Cole doing it, so it was fashionable. For those of you who don’t know, Keisha Cole is the off key r&b  hit singer whose reality TV series showcases her dope-fiend mother, uncouth family, and ultimate ghetto-fabulosity (my own word). Why in the hell would you take fashion cues from someone like this??? I mean, this woman shaves her eyebrows and draws on something that looks like it was done with a wide tipped sharpie! If there was a such thing as a ghetto circus, she could surely be the clown.

I eventually came to realize that this trend was not just affecting young women and teenage girls who had never been taught how to dress, but it was spreading to older women who damn well should have known better. I cannot begin to fathom what could possibly make a woman of any type of well breeding or upbringing desire to walk the streets with her underwear exposed. It’s just as bad as the young boys with their pants sagging so as to show off their dirty boxers covered with the dust and grime of everything they’ve sat on that day. When I saw the lady in the restaurant, I wanted so badly to reach out to her so that I could shake her uncontrollably until she realized what a disgraceful embarrassing display she had put on for the world against Black women.

I am no fashionisto, but I know what looks good and very well know what looks trashy. Wearing an outfit to deliberately show off your bra in any way, form, or fashion, is an immediate display of being low class and ill breeding. When you are dressed to the nines and wearing the wrong kind of brassiere to lift and support, causing your undergarments to be visible to all, you look like a whore. You seem slutty and unkempt , which is attractive to some, but surely not in the way you want it to be.

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